Here are 13 things you can do to help your child overcome shyness
The Spanish magazine "Con Miss Ejos" published a report in which she talked about the shame in children that can appear in certain situations to varying degrees.
The magazine said, shyness is not a negative trait as it is a complex feeling that usually results in natural psychological stress that leads us to improve our personality, and this applies to adults and children alike. However, trying to overcome the feeling of shame that may arise in some situations must be part of a smooth and gradual process. But if this shyness causes stress and anxiety this means that it has become satisfactory. In this case, it is necessary to consult a specialist, since a lack of socialization can affect the raising and education of the shy child.
Is shy feeling gained?
The magazine stated that shyness develops during a person's life differently. For example, the feeling of shame during adolescence is profound given that a person at this age is involved in almost all social activities. Usually, the feeling of shame is generated by expectations and anxieties that control a person, especially in front of others and in certain situations. The best treatment to get rid of shyness is to face these anxious situations.
Sometimes, shyness in children is for obvious reasons such as insecurity and loss of self-esteem, without excluding the genetic influence that may enhance this feeling, and emotional and environmental factors play an important role in this regard. You are not born shy, but you "learn" from your own experience and by noticing other people's behaviors and behaviors. For a child, the behavioral patterns he observes in his daily life are key factors in gaining shyness.
The magazine stressed the need for the shy person to be cautious during situations that show his weakness in character, puts him in comparisons, or makes him ridicule of others. If a person learns to control their emotions and express themselves appropriately, a sense of shame will act as a defensive mechanism for them.
When is shyness disturbing?
1- When your child distances himself from social relationships and avoids environments that create an atmosphere of tension and emotional anxiety.
2- Making excuses.
3- When he cannot integrate into the class, either because he does not want to participate in oral reading (aloud) or becomes very nervous if he has to speak in front of a group.
4- When he is not involved in activities with other children and tends to hide behind his parents if he meets someone on the street who does not know him.
What can we do?
When we try to help a child overcome his shyness, it is necessary to take into account the causes of his discomfort, which mainly stem from a lack of self-confidence and insecurity. And be careful to use some strategies that can reduce this feeling:
1. Learn the causes of these behaviors: genetic, environmental, emotional, and learning.
2. Support it unconditionally and show your understanding of it and its capabilities.
3. Deal with the problem naturally and never make fun of it or make it look different.
4. Give him confidence and time: each child needs a moment to put his or her own strategies into practice.
5. Don't make judgments: try to make your style simple so that they understand you.
6. Don't say negative words about yourself, like "I'm useless."
7. Allow the child to tell you what is happening without thinking about an answer.
8. Make him suggest things even if they are simple.
9. Create opportunities for socialization, but do not compel it to face new social situations.
10. Promote situations that are comfortable for the child: Do not force him to do group activities if he is not ready for it.
11. Help him cope with difficult new situations, and try to reduce the level of anxiety to make the child feel comfortable.
12. Praise him every time he can overcome his shyness and successfully face a social situation.
13. Always try to highlight its positive qualities.
Instructions for treating child shame
1- Help your child build self-confidence and gradually overcome the feeling of shyness by avoiding comparisons with other children or siblings.
2- Working on his simple behaviors, such as starting short conversations, asking simple and attractive questions, encouraging him to express a certain opinion, and helping him express feelings of anger, joy and anger through socially beneficial verbal expression.
3- Shy children often reduce their achievements and this increases their mistakes to the maximum extent. Let them do things the way they do, and you should make sure that they rejoice when they do things right.
4- Start with a “playmate” and help him double the number of his friends, while doing various activities. Participating in plays or role-playing games will be a great strategy.
5- Beware of "excessive protection" and leave your child "his space" and maintain his independence.
6- Invite his friends for a snack at home or to play for a few hours so he can enjoy and feel safe in his surroundings.
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